


All the World’s a Stage

by marguerite_26



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Age Difference, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-03-06
Updated: 2012-03-06
Packaged: 2017-11-01 13:41:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,822
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/357439
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/marguerite_26/pseuds/marguerite_26
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Merlin knows the easiest way to get through high school is to keep his head down, his mouth shut and his secrets to himself. If that means he’s just acting most of the time, so be it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	All the World’s a Stage

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to my amazing betas [](http://agenttrojie.livejournal.com/profile)[**agenttrojie**](http://agenttrojie.livejournal.com/), [](http://mellacita.livejournal.com/profile)[**mellacita**](http://mellacita.livejournal.com/) and [](http://snegurochka-lee.livejournal.com/profile)[**snegurochka_lee**](http://snegurochka-lee.livejournal.com/). 
> 
> Additional warnings: Age disparity: Gwaine is 20, Merlin is 16. Some bullying and homophobic language.
> 
> Originally posted April 3, 2011

Merlin’s an actor. It’s what he does best. On stage, he keeps the audience captivated; in the library he pastes a silly grin on his face to keep Gwen from worrying; in the halls of St. James Collegiate, he shrugs off the jocks that bump his shoulder and acts like he can’t hear when they call him a loser or a _fag_.

He’s brilliant at it, has the lead in the school play even though he’s a lowly junior. Mr. Gaius says he’s a natural Hamlet, though Merlin wonders if that’s a shot at his sanity or his indecision.

Regardless, it’s a break from his shitty days to enter the auditorium and be someone else because he’s been asked to, not because of some defence mechanism he’s honed over the years. He snorts to himself as he swings open the heavy doors and makes his way to the stage. His mother’s always said he’s far too self-aware for someone so oblivious. He knows it’s ironic that he only understands half of what she means.

A grating, posh voice carries through the acoustics of the auditorium and Merlin immediately tenses. Arthur Pendragon is on stage, and that’s enough of a shock that Merlin stops dead in his tracks. He supposes it could be a sign of an impending apocalypse – a star quarterback gracing the worn wood of the platform only the drama club and the choir ever stand on – but Merlin quickly realizes Arthur’s only there to yell at his sister, and the world rights itself.

“Arthur, stop being such an ass. Rehearsal ends at six and football practice ends at five. By the time you’ve all pretended not to ogle each other in the showers, you’ll only need to wait half an hour. It’s not the end of the world.”

Merlin falls a little in love with Morgana then for the way Arthur’s neck turns an ugly, blotchy pink.

“You can find your own ride home,” Arthur grits out and turns heel.

He’s about to leap off the front of the stage when Morgana says to his back, “I could always get Gwaine Flarity to drive me home.”

Arthur’s facing Merlin now, and Merlin sees his knuckles go white as he clenches his fists. “You’re such a bitch. You know Dad would have my head.” With a sigh, he adds, “I’m not waiting a minute past six.”

Morgana smirks and returns to the script in her hand as if nothing’s happened. Arthur’s in a temper though and leaps off the stage with all the athletic grace of someone who is naturally good at everything, even when he’s furious. Merlin has to jump out of the way before he’s bowled over.

Merlin walks around and climbs the stairs to the right of the stage, breathing in the scent of wood chips and fresh paint that come with the construction of a new set being designed. The tension in his shoulders all but disappears as he makes his way across the stage. Mr. Gaius warned them that tonight they’d be starting on the scenes with Hamlet and his mother. It’s still a month before opening night and Merlin’s just getting the feel for Hamlet and his many layers.

Merlin stops a few steps back from Morgana, his Gertrude, because Mr. Gaius isn’t there yet and Morgana’s chatting with a guy Merlin knows isn’t in the drama club. His thin t-shirt clings to his broad shoulders. He has a well-groomed stubble and a mess of thick wavy hair that falls to his shoulders. He’s gorgeous in a way that would never go unnoticed by Merlin. The stranger has a worn, leather tool belt hanging low on his waist. The handle of the hammer hits his thigh every time he moves.

Merlin keeps a few steps back.

“Don’t use me to rile your brother, gorgeous,” the man’s saying to Morgana. His broad, flirty smile takes away the sting of the words. “I don’t need the trouble.”

Morgana rolls her eyes but there’s a pleased look on her face that says she’s enjoying the attention. She tucks a thick curl behind her ear. “Arthur’s all bark, and no bite.”

“And _Daddy_?”

Morgana’s nose wrinkles at that. Mr. Pendragon’s not the kind of principal anyone underestimates, not even his daughter. Merlin once saw a freshman burst into tears because she was laughing, not looking where she was going and accidentally stepped on Principal Pendragon’s foot. Rumours eventually escalated that he called her to his office and made her lick off the scuff, but Merlin doubted that was true. Mostly.

“Your father never liked me much when I went here.”

“Now, Gwaine.” Morgana laughs. “Could that be because you broke into our house, stole his lavender silk pajamas and hung them from the flagpole?”

“They couldn’t prove that was me.”

Merlin suddenly understands who the stranger is. He’s heard the name a dozen times over since starting high school; Gwaine Flarity is somewhat of a legend, from pajamas on flagpoles to the Miller triplets under the bleachers to passing out drunk during a bio lab. There are enough stories that at least some of them have to be true.

Morgana raises an eyebrow. “I was only a freshman then and even _I_ knew it was you.” Then she stage-whispers, “Besides, I saw your car tear out of our driveway that night.”

Gwaine throws his head back, and a full-bodied, carefree laugh fills the small stage. Merlin can't help but stare at the long line of his neck and grin.

Morgana’s eyes twinkle like she’s enjoying the sight too and is quite pleased with herself for making it. “But fine! I’ll keep you out of trouble. You’ve gone soft in your old age, Flarity.”

“I think it’s more that the prison sentences for pranks get a lot longer after you turn twenty. I need to keep my nose clean.” He winks at her. “Mostly.”

His eyes meet Merlin’s then and they flicker over Merlin’s body in a way that can’t _possibly_ be what it looks like because this is _Gwaine Flarity_ and Merlin is well... _Merlin_.

“I see your Hamlet is here, your highness. I’ll let Gaius know. He’s gotten lost in the storage room again.” He taps Merlin’s shoulder and nods towards Morgana. “Don’t let this one give you a hard time.”

ooOoo

They get through rehearsal, though Merlin questions his own sanity for agreeing to play Hamlet. There are about a half dozen players on the stage running through various scenes, and Merlin flits between them because Mr. Gaius is evil and believes in throwing people into the deep end the first night of rehearsals. Mr. Gaius circles the groups, interrupting every few lines to give pointers. Gwaine’s hammering something a few feet away and Merlin’s concentration is shot. Not to mention, Merlin’s quite frankly terrified of his scenes with Gertrude. Morgana’s a senior, not to mention gorgeous and self-confident, and she does a quasi-sane doting mother very believably on first try.

It’s all distracting enough that Merlin barely notices Arthur scowling in the back row of the auditorium. But at six o’clock, Arthur’s phone alarm goes off and he doesn’t bother to apologize, just walks on stage. Mr. Gaius frowns, but slips away to discuss the height of a turret with Gwaine.

Arthur stalks up to them, his hair still wet from his post-practice shower. “If you hadn’t totaled your car, I’d be half through a pizza by now.”

Morgana just smiles and taps Arthur’s cheek. “You’re a good brother.” She turns to Merlin and curtsies. Merlin has to snap his eyes from the damp curl at Arthur’s nape that had caught his attention. “Thank you, Merlin. You make a fine Hamlet.”

Arthur snorts. “How can he be a believable prince with those ears?”

“Arthur!” Morgana cries, smacking his shoulder. Arthur makes a face and Merlin realizes Arthur’s not nearly as attractive as he thought he was, shower-wet hair and all.

Merlin slicks away like he hadn’t heard anything. The insult buries in his chest where it burns low and constant like the dozens of variations he’s heard.

Before he gets far, Morgana reaches out and wraps her strong fingers around his wrist, forcing him to stop or make an ass of himself trying to pull away. “I’m sorry, Merlin. Arthur’s just pissy because Vivian’s after him to take her to the Homecoming dance and he’s running out of excuses.”

Merlin just shrugs, but feels mildly better when Arthur has no better retort but to flip Morgana the finger. He feels even better when Arthur fumbles his leap off the stage and has to catch himself on his hand to stop from doing a face plant.

“I better go.” Morgana smiles, all magazine-perfect red lips and white teeth. “I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”

Merlin nods and watches her chase after her brother. Her harsh whispers carrying the distance and he catches enough to know Arthur’s getting an earful about taking out his anger on the wrong people. Merlin shakes his head as they disappear out the door and Arthur throws him a backward glance that he doesn’t catch the meaning of. Merlin can’t even understand how he ended up on the radar of the two most popular kids in school, but part of him wishes he hadn’t.

He picks up his script and goes to the back corner of the stage. There’s a bench just behind the curtain; he likes it there. He can’t see anyone else in the auditorium and it’s easy to get into character. If he keeps his voice low the other actor can ignore his rehearsing well enough. He’ll sit here for hours after school and run through his lines. It’s something he’s done since he was in ninth grade when Mr. Gaius gave him a copy of _Arsenic and Old Lace_ and told him to make himself useful and understudy that year’s Mortimer while he waited for his mother to get off work. It made it feel a lot less like babysitting, though he knew Mr. Gaius was doing it as a favor to Merlin’s mother.

Hamlet’s madness is far harder than Mortimer’s obliviousness, though. It means giving up all restraint -- that tiny bit that you always keep back for a little self-defence. You need to hand that over if you want to make the audience _believe_.

" _I am but mad north-north-west. When the wind is southerly, I know a hawk from a handsaw._ " Hamlet’s telling Rosencrantz and Guildenstern that he is not as he appears. It’s important for the audience to understand this and Merlin knows their comprehension relies as much upon his delivery as the words themselves. He can’t decide if it should be a playful moment, a wink and nod, or something more serious. He repeats the line a dozen times over in many variations. He’ll need to ask Mr. Gaius which works best. He’s too close to it now.

" _I am but mad north-north-west. When the wind is southerly, I know a hawk from a handsaw._ " He says it this time low and grave, meant as a warning.

“I can see why Gaius chose you.”

Merlin’s so deep in character that it takes a minute for the words to filter through his brain and to realize he’s being spoken to. He blinks up to find Gwaine leaning on the half-made background of Gertrude’s bedroom. He’s flipping a screwdriver in his hand, catching the flathead perfectly in his fingers with each toss.

“Um, what?”

“I can see why Gaius picked you for Hamlet, Merlin.” Gwaine smiles and Merlin’s brain is looping on _Gwaine Flarity knows my name_. “You’re very good. Ears and all.”

Merlin’s brain grinds to a halt as the shot sinks in and cancels out the compliment and any of the charm of Gwaine’s smile. He feels his cheeks heat. “Fuck you.”

Gwaine’s grin broadens until his eyes crinkle, like Merlin just said something endearing. “So the kid has some backbone!”

The truth of it stings; standing up for himself has never come easy. “I’m just trying to get this bit before my ride--” His mom, but he doesn’t say that, “--picks me up at seven. So if you could just go... screw something.”

Gwaine’s eyes dance with amusement and his lips twitch like they aren’t going to be able to hold back much longer. It take another beat before Merlin realizes what he’s actually said and that Gwaine isn’t laughing at _him_ but at his wording choice. Then they are both laughing, a bit breathless and too hard for a silly accidental pun. But they are apparently both twelve because they are wiping away tears with giggles still bubbling in their chests after a minute.

It’s been a stressful day for Merlin and he takes advantage of the release and rolls his stiff shoulders. When Gwaine takes a seat on the bench beside him, he tenses all over again.

“We haven’t met properly. I’m Gwaine.” He holds out his hand and Merlin takes it. It’s crazy large and rough with calluses.

“Merlin Emrys.”

“A pleasure.” Gwaine looks at him like he looked at Morgana earlier, an open and easy smile and eyes that raise the heat of the room a few notches.

“So you’re designing our sets?” Merlin’s impressed that he manages to make ‘what are you even doing here, didn’t you graduate?’ sound like a natural conversation starter.

“I owe Gaius a favor, or ten. I do bits of contract work in the day but the construction business is slow right now. Working here for a few hours a night will help give me a bit of breathing room between paychecks.”

Merlin nods. Honest work is good work, his mother used to say when he’d blush at seeing her walk down the street still in her KFC uniform in the years before they got the car.

“I meant what I said, you know. You are really good – not the bit about the ears. I overheard Arthur being a jerk earlier.” Gwaine reaches up and touches Merlin’s left ear and Merlin’s mortified. He barely manages not to run off to his locker and pull on his beanie. The touch is soft, though. Not the teasing tug that Merlin’s expecting. It’s a feather light trace of the shell and Merlin shivers. “I think they suit you just fine.”

Gwaine stares at him until Merlin twitches away from his hand. Gwaine blinks like he’s a bit surprised at himself and he snaps his hand away. “Sorry. _Christ_. You’re what, fifteen?”

“’Sokay,” Merlin manages. He’s got to be as red as a tomato. “Sixteen.” He’s half hard. Oh God, from some stranger touching his ear. He’s a huge perv.

He wonders if he’s said that out loud because Gwaine jumps up. “Best go earn my money.” He waves the screwdriver at Merlin as if to explain what he meant and, for the first time, there’s a crack in Gwaine’s cool persona as he walks away, whispering, “Sixteen, Gwaine, _sixteen_.”

Merlin’s left wondering what on earth’s just happened.

ooOoo

The next morning he gets slammed into a locker by Valiant before homeroom. His head knocks into the door and he hasn’t eaten breakfast yet. It’s a hard enough hit that he crumples to the floor, stars dancing in his eyes. While Gwen’s cursing like a sailor at Valiant’s smirking face, Merlin says nothing. It’s not the first time Valiant’s proved himself an asshole, and won’t be the last. Merlin hasn’t a clue why Morgana, who could likely date anyone in school, bothers to date such an ogre. Regardless, Valiant’s made it quite clear what he thinks of Morgana spending so much time with theatre geeks.

Then suddenly Arthur’s there and it’s all a bit fuzzy because Merlin’s ears are still ringing but it sounds like Arthur’s tearing a strip off Valiant for being a disaster at practice the night before. Merlin’s vision is clear enough now, he can see Valiant’s smirk slip off his face. The crowd that’s gathered is silent, waiting like time has stopped even though a second, before it all seemed to be rushing by on fastforward.

After Valiant slinks away, the crowd bursts into a flurry of chatter and disperses. Arthur’s left standing there with Gwen and Merlin gawking at him.

“Your head alright?” he says with a bit of a strange look on his face. It might be concern, but Merlin’s never seen it before on Arthur so he has no context.

It’s all a bit surreal, and Merlin wonders just how hard he hit his head. Gwen has to smack him before he blurts out. “Yeah, yeah. Hard.” And he knocks his forehead to prove it, or something.

Arthur snorts like _Merlin’s_ the one who’s crazy. Then the bell rings and Arthur and Gwen take off in various directions. Merlin scrambles for some books in his locker, blindly grabbing the one at the top even though it’s algebra and he’s pretty sure he has geography first on Tuesdays. The rest of the day is typical for Merlin, mostly spent daydreaming and pretending to take proper notes, sinking low in his desk in the hopes of never catching a teacher’s eye. As he doodles in the margins of his history notes, he thinks about that morning’s trip to bizarroland. Arthur Pendragon had actually looked at him like he was human.

ooOoo

Merlin’s grabbing his books for last period, which really is Algebra this time, when the hallway fills with a shrill cry that might be ‘Arthur,’ if the name has about a dozen extra r’s.

Merlin looks up to see Vivian, her arms high in the air like she’s about to tackle-hug someone. At the other end of the hall is Arthur, his eyes wide and panicked.

Merlin has a split second to decide to get involved or not, but there’s just enough vulnerability in Arthur’s face that really, he can’t help but return the favor from this morning. “Oh, fuck!” he shouts into his locker and doubles over, clutching his thumb.

Arthur’s at his side in an instant and the weirdness of the day continues. “What is it?” he says, a bit too desperately interested to be sincerely concerned only about Merlin’s pain.

“My thumb. I jarred it, I think.” He looks over Arthur’s shoulder and sees Vivian’s eyes narrow. “It might be broken.”

“You should get the nurse to look at it. Here, I’ll walk you just in case you, er, faint.” Arthur shrugs at Vivian but doesn’t take his hand off Merlin’s shoulder as he directs them around a corner.

With a quick look behind them to make sure she’s not following, Merlin smiles and releases the hold of his thumb.

Arthur laughs and claps Merlin’s back hard enough to make him stumble forward a step. “Thanks, man!”

Merlin shrugs like it’s nothing, but the tips of his ears go hot.

“I have to be honest, though.” Arthur’s hand is on his back again. Merlin’s never realized just how tactile of a person Arthur is. “That was the worst bit of acting I’ve ever seen. You’re lucky Vivian has a brain the size of a pea. Morgana would have had you strung up for calling it in.”

Merlin squirms a bit because Arthur’s very warm and close and he’s _Arthur Pendragon_ , who has never talked to Merlin before today. “I’m not great at improvising.”

Arthur just laughs and jogs off towards the gym.

ooOoo

The stage is crowded; most of the cast has shown up and are pacing about the different areas of the stage, paired off to run lines. Freya’s waiting for him at center stage to rehearse a few scenes with Hamlet and Ophelia. They pick the nunnery scene first. Freya’s Ophelia is perfect, taking Hamlet’s rants and harsh words with sweetness and broken heart. If he weren’t helplessly gay, he’d fall for her just for her portrayal of slowly being driven bat-shit crazy. Merlin’s eyes sting by the end of it from watching Ophelia crumble as Hamlet torments her.

Just before six, Mr. Gaius calls for a read-through of the infamous ‘closet scene’ to close the night. Merlin’s already emotionally wrung out but tugs at his reserves. They line up: Merlin, Morgana and Will, who plays Polonius.

They start off rather flat, with neither Merlin nor Morgana hitting the exchange quite right.

_”Now, Mother, what's the matter?”_

_”Hamlet, thou hast thy father much offended.”_

_”Mother, you have my father much offended.”_ Merlin clears his throat and turns to Gaius. “Sorry, I’ll try that again.

“No, no.” Gaius motions with his hand to keep going. “It’ll be rough the first time through. Just let it come.”

It’s rough. The first two passes they just aren’t feeling it. But on the third, Morgana takes a step closer to Merlin and holds his gaze as he curls his lip in disgust, spitting out his next line.

“ _Nay, but to live  
In the rank sweat of an enseamed bed,  
Stew'd in corruption, honeying and making love  
Over the nasty sty,-_ ”

They both burst out laughing and something just clicks. Morgana slips easily into character for her response and they go on from there with Gaius quiet and smiling at their side. By the fourth read he’s getting the feel of it, so much better than yesterday. Like he’s finally found _his_ Hamlet.

With Morgana’s teasing smile after each compliment Mr. Gaius heaps on him, he cranks it up a bit. He clasps Morgana’s hand in his own and leans into her as if whispering in her ear and blatantly staring at her chest as he says, " _Not this by no means that I bid you do: Let the bloat king tempt you again to bed, Pinch wanton on your cheek, call you his mouse._ "

He’s slipping dirty hints of incest in each word and Morgana’s clearly loving it. She’s playing uncomfortable and shocked, trembling in Merlin’s arms.

Mr. Gaius breaks the scene with a loud, “Brilliant. You two have excellent chemistry.” He coughs. “Far too much for a mother and son, which is just perfect, really.”

“If I’d known that groping Morgana was part of playing Hamlet I would have tried harder in the tryouts,” Will mutters.

Merlin’s high off the praise and he lifts Morgana’s hand to his mouth and kisses her knuckles, “Mother dearest, you were fabulous.”

Morgana’s tinkle of laughter is interrupted by the loud stomping of someone bounding across the stage.

“Keep your hands off my fucking girlfriend.”

An instant later Valiant is there on stage, big and hulking, blowing his sour breath in Merlin’s face, his hand pulling Merlin’s arm. All Merlin can think is that this is _his_ place. The stage is his and Valiant and the fuckers he hangs with can have the rest of the school.

He twists out of Valiant’s grip and turns away. He knows a second too late that it’s the wrong choice, because idiots like Valiant love an easy target. The floor comes at him fast, faster than he even registers the hard shove at his shoulder blades, and he barely has time get his hands out to break the fall.

“Valiant, you moron. He wasn’t doing anything.” Morgana’s voice is a screechy panic. She has her arms wrapped around his chest and Merlin knows if Morgana wasn’t there, he’d already have boots marks on his shirt and a few broken ribs.

“Let go of me, Morgana.” He shakes her off with a wicked looking push and she stumbles back and trips, the momentum making her skid on the smooth floor. Merlin watches, mouth open in warning and arm uselessly outstretched as she tumbles off the edge of the stage.

Valiant must be as dumb as an ox or just _that_ angry, because he doesn’t seem to notice. He’s focused on Merlin, looking hungry for blood. Merlin scrambles backwards, digging his heels into the groves of the hardwood floor, trying to get some space between them.

Gaius and Will are shouting, and Freya runs to check on Morgana. It’s a slice of chaos for a minute until Gwaine’s there between Merlin and Valiant.

“Is there a problem here?” Gwaine says, his tone light like he’s walking up to a couple of friends at a bar.

“None of your concern, Flarity.” Valiant glances at Gwaine. Gwaine just crosses his arms over his chest. Valiant looks Gwaine up and down, then back to Merlin who is on his feet flanking Gwaine with Will on the other side. Merlin sees Freya helping Morgana up the stairs. She looks fine, though she’s favoring her right ankle.

“Not worth it,” Valiant says and turns to look at Morgana, shaking his head as if he’s a bit confused why she’s not where he expects her. “Come on, Morgana.”

Her scowl looks deadly. “You’ve got to be kidding me. You’re never touching me again.”

“What? You’re dumping me over this geek? He’s probably a shirt-lifter.”

Merlin pales, because while he’s been called a lot of names, no one’s ever really accused him to his face of being gay. It’s not something he’s ever had to reply to directly. He has no script ready to hand him a clever retort. His face must show it because Valiant’s grin broadens.

“Ha! I’m right, aren’t I? You wouldn’t even be able to get it up for her.”

The worst part is the fucking acoustics. Every word travels through the room, clear as a bell and if anyone hadn’t already gathered during their little scuffle, they’ve now dropped everything to turn and watch Merlin’s humiliation.

He wishes he was in character: someone quick witted and brilliant at turning the tables, someone who would divert the attention from himself and make the whole room laugh at Valiant for being the idiot that he is. Instead, he’s just Merlin and all Merlin can manage to do is bite his bottom lip to stop it from trembling.

“I think you should go.” Gwaine waves Valiant off with a hand that is not-so-casually holding a hammer.

Valiant laughs, cruel, and turns back to Merlin. “I guess that answers that question, _fag_.”

He disappears out the backdoor, ignoring the ‘Only In Case of Fire – Alarm will Sound’ warning. Unfortunately, no alarm goes off and Merlin’s left in the crowded auditorium with all eyes on him. Without a word, he slips away to the storage room backstage and prays no one will follow him.

He’s in the back corner with his hands wrapped around his knees, hiding behind a rack of Ophelia’s gowns when Gwaine finds him.

“Hey.”

“I’d like to be alone.”

“I figured that. What with the hiding.” Gwaine gives Merlin a lopsided grin then he squeezes in beside him. Merlin huffs and moves over so that Gwaine isn’t sitting _on_ him, though they are still pressed together shoulder to knee.

“I came out as bi when I was eighteen,” he says, like segues are lame. “It wasn’t great but at least I was done with high school by that point.”

“Yeah, thanks.” Merlin wonders if he’s stuck in an afterschool special -- the kind where people get their lines wrong and make things worse. “That makes me feel better.”

Gwaine laughs. “You’re very funny, Merlin.”

Merlin rolls his eyes because he’s heard that one a million times, followed by ‘yeah, funny looking.’

“I meant it as a compliment.”

“Whatever.” Merlin tugs at the frayed cuff of his sleeve and avoids looking at Gwaine, who is really too close to focus on properly anyway. “Can I go back to having my teen crisis now?”

“Hmm. I don’t think so.” Gwaine slaps his hand down on Merlin’s knee. Then _leaves it there_. “You know the people out there really like you. They aren’t judging you. When I left they were arguing if tarring and feathering or a simple castration would be the best fate for Valiant. The people that are worth anything aren’t going to care.”

“And it’ll get better, right?” Merlin hears the emo-bitterness in his voice and it grates.

Gwaine smiles and knocks Merlin’s shoulder. “It honestly will.”

“I would rather have waited.” Merlin shifts further into the corner but not enough to dislodge Gwaine’s hand. It feels hot and ridiculously obvious. “How old were you when you knew?”

“At my eighteenth birthday party, I was drunk off my ass and some college guy started kissing me and it was... _yeah_. The first time you kiss another guy - you know what I mean – it just clicks, right?”

Merlin flushes and stands. “Right, time to get back out there.”

“Merlin.” Gwaine follows him up then grabs his wrist, pulling him close and looking like he can see inside of Merlin. “Have you ever been kissed?”

Merlin looks away, but Gwaine tilts his head up to force Merlin’s gaze back again. Merlin still doesn’t reply. Then Gwaine is leaning in and _holy shit_ streams through Merlin’s brain. He trembles in the second it takes for the distance between them to close.

Gwaine’s lips brush his in one tentative kiss and then a second and third in quick succession. When Gwaine moves back, Merlin chases after him even though he knows it was just a pity kiss, just so he doesn’t have to be that guy that’s _never been kissed_. It doesn’t stop him from pressing their lips harder and there’s an awkward moment that their faces are smashed together. Merlin knew he’d been right – he always thought he was doomed to be a terrible kisser. He pulls back. Then Gwaine’s hands are warm on his cheeks and jaw, gently directing them. This time it’s patient and slow and makes Merlin’s knees melt as Gwaine nips at his bottom lip like he just isn’t ready to let go. It doesn’t feel like _charity_ at all.

Merlin moans and lets his lips part a fraction, just to see. It’s _so_ the right choice because the kiss opens to something new, wetter and louder and it’s Gwaine who’s moaning now. Merlin’s chest swells with pride at the sound.

They break apart, breathless and flushed and Merlin wants to do it again, possibly forever.

“Christ, are you sure you’re only sixteen?”

Merlin leans forward to swipe his tongue at the glisten of Gwaine’s bottom lip, but there’s an insistent beeping sound that can’t be ignored. He blinks as his mind recovers from its previous state of melting out his ears and he looks at his watch. “Shit.” He flicks the button that turns off his alarm. “I need to go catch my ride.”

Gwaine runs his hands through his hair and catches his breath, looking as stunned and flustered as Merlin feels.

Merlin’s chest puffs a little more. “I’ll see you later.”

“Yes, you will.”

ooOoo

The thrill of his first kiss has faded in the harsh light of day, and the prospect of entering school again after his dramatic _outing_ last night settles like an anvil in his belly. He slinks into school, not meeting anyone’s eyes. He’s got his iPod blasting and both earbuds in and his beanie pulled low. He can feel the bustle around him, can see the groups of chattering girls, and it feels like every eye is on him.

He’s late for homeroom; he slips in just after the bell and gets a stern look from Mr. Collins. But it saves him from being approached and asked point-blank if the rumors are true and is he going to wear a rainbow t-shirt tomorrow. He can feel Gwen trying to catch his eye. He ducks his head low, and focuses on digging the tip of a pencil into the groove of his desk. He’s up and out of his seat the instant announcements are over. His peripheral vision catches Gwen moving towards him but he bee-lines it for the door, not wanting to see the pity in her eyes as she confirms that yes, the entire school does _know_.

At lunch he hides under the bleachers, his iPod cranked and his script on his lap. He’s just packing up to head to his afternoon class when Valiant walks by. He’s got his chin to his chest and his arm in a sling. As he turns the corner, Merlin sees the puffy purple of a black eye, and what looks like several stitches at his eyebrow. He doesn’t say a word to Merlin, though he must have seen him.

The minute Valiant disappears through the doors, Merlin’s up and running through the halls to find Gwen. She’s at her locker putting away her lunch. Her face brightens as Merlin approaches.

“I’ve been trying to talk to you all day, Merlin!” She’s got a bit of a pout and Merlin feels a pang of guilt but his curiosity trumps it.

“Do you know what happened to Valiant?”

Gwen’s forehead scrunches up. “I’ve been wanting a scoop all morning. And you’ve been hiding from me!”

“I don’t know what you mean.”

Gwen gives him an odd look but starts to spill everything she’s heard. “Valiant threw Morgana off the stage at practice last night. You were there, weren’t you? That’s what people are saying. She has a sprained ankle.”

“Um, yeah.” He wants to tell her the whole story but the words catch in his throat. Keeping secrets has always come naturally to him. Instead he waits for the other shoe to drop. “Valiant didn’t look like he got hit by a bus when that happened.”

“Well, Arthur heard about it and he flipped! He went over to Valiant’s house last night and they had it out on Valiant’s front lawn.”

“What?” Merlin feels his mouth fall open in surprise. He knows he must look ridiculous, but of all the things he expected Gwen to say, that was not it.

“Yup. Rumor is that Valiant has a broken wrist and his shoulder’s dislocated. He’s out for the entire football season.”

“Wow.” Merlin leans back against a locker and tries to absorb this new information. He watches as a crowd walks by. None of them turn to look at him and he finally realizes that he’s not part of this big story at all. “And that’s it?” he asks, biting his lip, afraid to hope.

“Well, Mr. Pendragon is pissed. Apparently, Arthur is grounded, so he’ll miss Saturday’s football game and the homecoming dance.”

“Ha!” Merlin bursts out; Arthur’s found his perfect excuse for Vivian.

Gwen looks at him funny but lets it go, all too accustomed to Merlin’s lack of sharing.

Merlin opens his locker and starts to wax on about just how nasty Valiant’s shiner looked to distract her. Gwen’s perfectly happy to theorize how his nose is probably broken and will likely not heal properly and it’s possible he will look like a pig for the rest of his life.

ooOoo

There are no rehearsals that night but Merlin hangs at school anyway. He finds his bench in the back corner of the stage and settles in to wait until seven when his mom picks him up. He has plenty of soliloquies to go through and he hasn’t yet tackled _The Big One_ , though he’s watched David Tennant’s “To Be Or Not To Be” on Youtube enough times to declare himself an official creepy stalker.

“All alone?”

“Oh, hey!” Merlin says as he looks up to see Gwaine standing a few feet away. “I didn’t expect to see you tonight.”

Gwaine saunters closer, looking at Merlin like he’s the apple in Eve’s hand. Merlin swallows hard and his eyes go to Gwaine’s lips involuntarily. The fact that they are alone in the auditorium sends his heart pounding in his chest. If he plays his cards right, he might get another kiss.

“How was your first day as an out man?” Gwaine sits on the bench and their knees graze.

Merlin’s a little breathless already, which is as humiliating as it is ridiculous, so he tries to shake it off. “You were right. No one said a word about the stupid ‘shirt-lifter’ comment.”

Gwaine flashes a smile and taps Merlin’s knee. “You should trust me.”

Merlin’s suddenly warm, really uncomfortably warm. He stares at Gwaine’s hand as he says, “Should I?” His voice comes out low and _older_ than he’s ever sounded. He looks up and catches Gwaine’s eyes widen.

Gwaine holds his gaze for a heated moment, as if trying to come to a decision. “You probably shouldn’t, but are you going to anyway?”

Merlin grins. “Yeah,” he says, hoping to God they are talking about the same thing. “I think I will.”

Gwaine leads him to the backstage storage room, and with a nod from Merlin he flips the deadbolt. Gwaine unbuckles his tool belt and set it on a table that’s covered in props. Beside the table, there's a full-length mirror leaning against the wall. It’s used to check costume fits and make-up before heading on stage. Gwaine guides Merlin before the mirror, peering over his shoulder. Merlin's got an inch on him already and will likely have more in another year. But for now, Gwaine can see over his shoulder comfortably.

He stares at Merlin’s reflection in the mirror and a slow smile spreads on his face. "You're gorgeous."

Merlin shakes his head and turns away from his reflection. The sticky shame of humiliation curls in his chest. He's here for more kisses and maybe a hand on his dick, not to be mocked by some clumsy seduction. Despite the heavy feel of his cock in his jeans and that Gwaine is the most gorgeous man he's ever seen, he makes for the door.

Gwaine snakes his arms around Merlin's shoulders and holds him in place.

"Merlin, look at yourself." He kisses up Merlin's neck, flicking his tongue at a place behind Merlin's ear that Merlin never knew existed, but suddenly it's hard to breathe and the temperature in the room skyrockets. "Look in the mirror and see what I see."

Merlin opens his eyes – he hadn't realized he'd shut them – and looks in the mirror. The lighting's low, casting shadows on them both. Gwaine looks ruggedly handsome with his long hair and stubble, like he's ready to step into a western and stare down Clint Eastwood just to bum a cigarillo.

Merlin, on the other hand, is thin and pale, dark hair and dark eyelashes that make him look goth without even trying. He doesn't get Gwaine's point and he turns to beg for more necking but Gwaine's fingers tangle in his hair to keep him looking forward.

"Those cheek bones, Merlin. Those lips. Christ, you could quit school and make a mint modeling."

As if in protest at being forgotten, Merlin's ears turn pink. Merlin knows they are what people see, not… whatever it is Gwaine's talking about.

Gwaine's arms release him and he steps back just enough that the searing heat at Merlin's back dissipates. "And your neck." Which Gwaine takes a minute to suck on and Merlin's going to have to hide that from his mom and doesn’t really care at the moment.

Gwaine’s hands start to roam Merlin's body, trailing up and down his arms. He stops with his hands at Merlin's hips, his fingers resting on the soft skin above Merlin's hip bones. Merlin can't help the slight tilt of his hips at the tease. The thick outline of his hard cock, trapped inside his jeans, is so obvious in his reflection he could almost laugh except that he's too preoccupied focusing on not coming in his pants.

Gwaine tugs Merlin's shirt up. Merlin lifts his arms to help and shivers at the chill air, feeling utterly naked.

"Mmmm." Gwaine hums at his nape. "Stunning." Gwaine’s fingers work their way into the tiny gap between the indent at Merlin’s hipbone and his jeans.

"Please."

"Has anyone ever touched you?"

"No," he breathes.

"Never had another man's hand wrapped around your hard cock?" Gwaine's words tickle his ear, warm and wet, and Merlin's cock throbs against his zipper.

He's rocking back against Gwaine now, rubbing his ass on Gwaine's crotch and the hard length he feels there. Oh God, if Gwaine doesn't get on with this he really is going to humiliate himself. "Please, I need –"

Then Gwaine's fingers are at his button and Merlin wants to cry with relief as the zip lowers and his cock, still trapped in his boxers, springs forward. Gwaine shoves his jeans down just enough that they sit high on Merlin's thighs and the boxers get tucked so that the waistband pushes up at his balls.

The sight makes Merlin's cheeks flame and he wants to look away from the mirror but can't. It's weirdly mesmerizing as he watches Gwaine's huge hand reach for his dick. Merlin forces his eyes open while Gwaine’s hand tightens around him. It’s strong and warm, and the calluses sting his sensitive skin in the best ways possible. But the sight of it in the mirror is almost too much. He tilts his head down to look at his crotch and finds that’s just as hot.

Gwaine moves, curls his fingers and slides his palm up. Merlin watches the tip of his cock disappear in the fist and then reappear a second later as Gwaine pushes back down. Merlin arches his back, rocking his hips in encouragement.

“Fuck, yes,” Gwaine hisses into his ear, and that’s all Merlin needs to start thrusting into Gwaine’s hand. It’s tight and sweaty and perfect. He watches himself in the mirror. Over his shoulder he can see Gwaine staring too, see the want there, like Merlin’s all that matters in that moment. No one’s ever looked at him like that. No one’s ever made him feel like this.

“I’m gonna—” Merlin starts to say but it’s all happening too fast, too intense and the words can’t make their way out. His entire body tightens like a bowstring in the second before his balls stir and his toes curl. Gwaine’s hand never falters, just keeps the steady slide up and down on his cock. Even as Merlin begins to shudder, Gwaine just angles Merlin’s cock forward and Merlin’s throat makes a strangled cry as the first splash of his come hits the mirror. It’s filthy like nothing else he’s imagined, watching himself get pulled off in a mirror covered in jizz.

Gwaine seems to think so too because he’s swearing into Merlin’s shoulder and rutting against Merlin’s bare ass. Gwaine only stops when Merlin whimpers at the sting of his over-sensitized cock. Merlin catches Gwaine’s eye in the mirror. The line of his come slashes across the torsos of their reflections.

“Brilliant.” Gwaine kisses a line from his shoulder up his neck. “An image I never want to forget.”

Merlin’s face flames, but it’s only partly embarrassment. He tucks himself back in and slips behind Gwaine to swap their positions. He delights in Gwaine’s look of surprise. “Your turn,” he whispers.

He reaches for Gwaine’s button and his fingers tremble because _holy shit_ , he’s about to touch another guy’s cock. He’s still pretty high on post-orgasm bliss though, so he doesn’t stop. He manages the button and the zip. Gwaine shuffles a bit to help his jeans and boxers down but he’s mostly just watching with an amused grin, content to let Merlin take his time and fumble through this.

It’s not that different from jerking off in the shower. The angle’s still the same. Gwaine’s definitely thicker, though. His cock feels heavier and shorter in Merlin’s palm. Then Gwaine moans and that’s definitely different. It brings Merlin back to the moment and he cuts out the _experiment_ of it and focuses on the experience. He tightens his grip and watches in the mirror as Gwaine’s eyes fall shut. He takes one firm stroke up and then down, just getting the feel of it.

“Yes.” Gwaine rocks into his palm, urging him faster. Merlin complies and Gwaine gasps. “Yes, like that.”

Merlin finds a pace that’s comfortable, faster than he likes but Gwaine’s murmurs and rasping breaths are telling him he’s got it right. Gwaine’s face contorts and Merlin has just a second to react and aim as Gwaine shoots off. His come hits to the left and lower than Merlin’s.

It looks like some erotic art with their come splashed across the mirror, blurring the reflection of Merlin’s hand still on Gwaine’s dick. If Merlin had a camera he’d certainly consider snapping a picture. But instead he commits this to memory because he doesn’t know if he’ll ever see anything like it again.

This thing isn’t meant to last, he knows he’s just a high school kid and Gwaine’s got an actual life and a job and hasn’t lived with his parents for years. He’s a kid having a little fling with an older man. It’s not meant to be more than this. But what he has right now he’s going to appreciate to the fullest. It’s a teenage dream, hot and sweaty and fleeting.

ooOoo

Merlin’s just bursting with it the next day and Gwen is laughing at him, not knowing the meaning behind Merlin’s goofy grin. In the hall, he bumps into Arthur and smiles brightly. Arthur blinks and smiles back, possibly thinking Merlin is insane.

Rehearsals are cut short that night. Morgana’s ankle’s bothering her and Freya offers to drive her home.

She accepts, complaining about a chem test that she needs to study for. Arthur’s lost his car privileges and her father has to drive them both back and forth from school from now on. Apparently ‘twenty minutes alone in a car with those two when they are fighting is a fate worse than death.’ The rest of the group disperses not long after. Merlin thinks tonight he might tackle To Be or Not To Be, though he’s hoping for something more interesting. He’s not disappointed.

A half hour after everyone leaves, he and Gwaine are back behind the locked door of the storage room. They stumble through the room, not talking, but hands and mouths everywhere. Merlin’s knee bumps the prop table and he curses as a notebook goes flying, scattering papers everywhere.

Gwaine has him pinned against the wall, arms over his head and his thigh pressed between Merlin’s when there’s a voice outside the door.

“Morgana said she’d left the notebook back here. I’ll be just a second.”

The words take too long to filter through Merlin’s brain. By the time he pulls away from the kiss to warn Gwaine, the door to the storage room has clicked unlocked and is swinging open.

In the doorway stands Principal Pendragon and over his shoulder is Arthur, his jaw dropping comically as if in slow motion.

Merlin has just enough time to thank God that he and Gwaine are at least fully dressed when Gwaine jumps from him, releasing the grip on Merlin’s hands long enough to shove Merlin behind him.

“What is this?” Mr. Pendragon says. The posh curl of his voice makes the question sound rhetorical.

Merlin straightens his collar to hide the hickey he knows is blossoming there.

“Gwaine Flarity.” Mr. Pendragon’s lips curl around the name. “You can wait in my office while I call the police.”

“The police?” Merlin pushes past Gwaine. Mr. Pendragon’s face is twisted, furious, and Merlin’s stomach plummets at the idea that his threat isn’t a bluff.

“Since Mr. Flarity graduated three years ago, his presence in this school is trespassing.” There’s triumph in those cool grey eyes and Merlin’s gut churns.

“I’m working for Gaius, actually.” Gwaine’s voice is light, amused. There’s a crinkle to his eyes as he smiles at Pendragon. “He hired me to do some carpentry on the sets.”

Pendragon’s eyes narrow and he breaks his gaze from Gwaine for the first time to focus on Merlin. Merlin tilts his head up like he doesn’t care that the principal is likely to call his mom at the end of all this. He hasn’t told her he’s gay yet and really doesn’t want _this_ to be how she finds out. But he’ll deal with that if it happens.

“How old are you, Mr. Emrys?”

Merlin blinks at the question. “Sixteen.”

“Hmm.” Mr. Pendragon looks disappointed. “And this was...“ He waves his hand then opts for, “consensual?”

“Very,” slips out before Merlin can stop it. Arthur snorts from behind his father and it’s the first Merlin’s really registered that they have an audience, and that _fuck_ , the entire school is going to know by first bell tomorrow.

Pendragon acts like he heard nothing. “I will inform Mr. Gaius that he needs a new stage hand.” His face turns hard and his voice sends a chill down Merlin’s spine. “If you re-enter my school again, Mr. Flarity, I will have you slapped with a restraining order. Do you understand me?”

The amused grin finally disappears from Gwaine’s face. The knit of his brow and purse of his lips look foreign on that carefree face that Merlin has gotten used to. “I understand you.”

“You have ten minutes to be out of my school. And Mr. Emrys?” Merlin’s widen as he meets his principal’s scowl. “I suggest you start keeping better company or I will make sure your mother hears of this.” Mr. Pendragon whips around and storms out with the temper he’s famous for.

Gwaine turns to Merlin, and he can tell by the sad little smile Gwaine gives him that it’s an apology as much as a goodbye. “You’d have gotten sick of me soon anyway. They all do.”

“We’ll see each other later. Outside of school, right?” Merlin says, and wants to mean it. But the reality of this being over has already begun to seep under his skin. He wants to ask for a phone number or permission to look him up on Facebook, anything just to keep this going a little longer.

As if reading his mind, Gwaine grips his shoulder and pulls him into a hug. “Merlin, you can do a lot better than a college drop-out turned handyman.”

Merlin shakes his head, and that’s all he can do because his throat’s all closed up and his vision’s started to blur.

Gwaine pulls back and grabs Merlin by the shoulder, his fingers curling into Merlin’s biceps hard enough to bruise. “Be brilliant, Merlin. On stage and off. Alright? Let the world see you.” He kisses Merlin’s forehead and Merlin’s eyes fall shut. “You know how to find me, if you need anything.”

Merlin’s wiping the wetness off his cheeks as Gwaine gathers his coat and an old leather satchel that clanks with tools. He salutes Arthur, who Merlin had no idea was still in the room.

Arthur moves to stand beside Merlin as Gwaine sweeps out the door and out of Merlin’s life. The door clicks shut and Merlin hopes that maybe he’ll bump into Gwaine again.

Arthur clears his throat and starts to babble. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know. Morgana forgot her chem notebook. I needed my dad to unlock the door to get them. I swear, I didn’t mean for that to happen.” The hurried, nervous words are very much not like Arthur. Merlin stares at him in disbelief.

“It’s fine.”

“I’m really very sorry.” Arthur ducks his head. His neck’s that blotchy pink that Morgana likes to turn it. “Are you guys...”

“No. Yes. Maybe one day?” Merlin can’t quite meet Arthur’s eyes. He leans up against the table beside the mirror and realizes the floor is covered in Morgana’s chem notes. He starts to gather them up.

Arthur joins him, shoving the meticulous notes back into a rough pile. He blurts out, “I won’t tell anyone.”

“Whatever.” Merlin shrugs. He’s gotten away with it once, it seems impossible that _this_ won’t make the grapevine.

“Honestly.” Arthur pauses, grabbing the last of the papers and standing. “Unless you want me to?”

Merlin’s heading for the door, not wanting to be in the storage room any longer when Arthur’s words sink in. “What?”

Arthur laughs, pushing past Merlin to open the door. “I mean, hooking up with Gwaine Flarity?” He gives a low whistle as he holds the door and ushers Merlin through. “ _Merlin_ , the entire senior class would be seething in jealousy.”

Merlin shakes his head and walks through the door. “Arthur?”

They start to walk up the aisle of the auditorium together and Arthur bumps his shoulder. “Yes?”

Merlin looks at him and sees his teasing grin and can’t help but smile back. “Shut up.” The next step, he knocks Arthur’s shoulder back then jogs ahead to dodge the retaliation. He barks out a laugh when Arthur catches him a few steps later and gives him a playful shove. He takes off after Arthur, not really thinking about why or what it all means. For once, Merlin’s acting like _himself_ and he finds he’s pretty brilliant at it.

-fin-


End file.
